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Memorial 12 - Señor : el capitan Pedro Fernandez de Quiros : la parte incognita Austral es justamente quarta del Globo, sin saberse si es tierra, o si es agua, o que partes tiene de las dos ...
Twelfth in the series of fourteen known Quiros' presentation memorials. Quirós wrote about fifty memorials addressed to the King Philip III of Spain describing the wonders of the lands he had discovered and requesting Royal support to organize a new expedition to the Southern hemisphere. The majority of them were manuscripts, but fourteen were printed between 1607 and 1614 at Quirós' expense for presentation at the Council of the Indies. These so-called "presentation memorials" - to be distinguished from later derivative printings which appeared throughout Europe after the leaking of one of the original Memorials - are among the most valuable of all printed Australiana. According to Kelly in this twelfth presentation memorial Quirós states "that the year which his Majesty ordered him to postpone his pretensions and projects and to await his pleasure had now passed. It deals with the extent of his discoveries in the Austral region, his proposals for a settlement there, the arms and ammunition required, the hope of founding a city which would require artists and skilled labourers, the building of small ships for further exploration, the mining of gold and silver, the spiritual and temporal benefits to be gained, the missionary friars who had volunteered, and the strategic value of communications between the Austral Lands and the Philippines, Peru, and New Spain".
My Lord I, Captain Pedro Fernández de Quirós, say that the unknown southern part is exactly a quarter of the planet, and it is not known whether it is land, or water, or how much there is of both. It seems that it is too large to be only water and too disproportionate to have a good shape. The two habitable zones could easily contain ten Europes; depending on whether there is half, one third or a quarter, there would be five, three and a third, or two and a half; and if there were no more territoriesthan the ones we have seen, their length would be as the distance from here to the Caspian Sea, which could hold a Roman Pontiff, the German Emperor, Y.M. with all his States, the Most Serene House of Austria, and the Kingdoms of Hungary and Bohemia. There would be space for the Kings of France, England, Denmark, Poland, Norway and the Great Duke of Moscow.
The Great Turk and his possessions would also fit in, as well as Venice the Most Serene and all the other princes, and republics that contain infinite nations, including the Precopense Tartars. In short, the newly discovered territories with their islands at fifteen degreesto half, cannot be less than Europe, or six or seven Spains, and it could well be that they are twenty, fifty and more than seventy, as I showed Y.M. who kindly requested an explanation to estimate the great gift given to him by the Lord, and to consider the one that He kindly gave me, for in a world full of his servants and of wise, practical, prudent and rich men, he entrusted me with the value of such a great mission that I did and do as much as I was and am able for, and I say what I have said so many times, mostly in the latest memorial that I promised.
2.‐ It has already been a year since Y.M. told me to wait, and the way I see it, he does not seem about to dispatch me. I have not been given assurances that I may be dispatched one day.
3.‐ Should Y.M. be so kind as to conveniently dispatch me (as he owes it to God and to his own regal persona) at his quickest convenience, as I did not travel in the past and present years’ galleons, I can prepare myself to sail in next year’s galleon, with the necessary clergy and lay people that I requested to travel with me, to establish a certain and firm foundation for such great work. Once in Lima, I will search for and select people, rig out vessels, take different supplies for healthcare, clothing gear and sustenance, defence weapons, munition, tools, iron and copper, with all the navigational supplies. In short, whatever is necessary for divine worship, to win the Indians over in a Christian and prudent manner and to keep them happy.
4.‐ It is necessary to set sail at the proper time for such a voyage where Satan will not ease off from the start, but God will prevail and will be joyfully served with our arrival at the port of Veracruz in St. Phillip and St. James Harbour – 900 leagues shorter and a far safer round trip than sailing from México to the Philippines, where we will later need to build a lime kiln and a brick and tiles oven, to break stones, to cut trees, to fasten logs, to build a sturdy fortress and to keep it well protected with artillery to defend ourselves against the enemies of Europe or of the land, as well as sundry other attackers.
5.‐ It is convenient to breed, to sow, to plant, to reap and to look for food, for the need of sustenance is a continuous common enemy that cannot be killed with anything but bread.
6.‐ To build small vesselsso that it is possible to row short distances between islands and shallows, as well as larger and smaller ships, with all their riggings and sails, timber and clay, supplies and whatever else may be needed for future voyagesto the Philippines, Lima and México, where profitable trade will be focused, with the added benefit of security and protection both here and in those seas, with all the very many galleons that can be built there.
7.‐ To look for gold mines – which have already been spotted – and silver mines, which I have seen myself, and for their benefit build mills, employ divers and rakes for pearling, a practice we are aware of occurs in fifteen spots and have seen in two. To deal in all other precious, natural and artificial products, in short what industry can produce, which is what enriches the world after God sustains it.
8.‐ To lay the real foundations for a city that will become the head and the model for those that will exist in those territories. To ensure that God’s temples, their beauty, adornments, and service will be such that they will captivate and interest Gentiles, so that the practice of charity and the spiritual and temporal government will ensure that there will be nothing to repent for or to reform, owe or pay, but to achieve increasing gains.
9.‐ Based on all of the above and on what is said below, it is clearly necessary to take a large number of artists and of practical people for all other hands‐on jobs, as well as others who can set up a council which – after God – will keep dangers at bay, avoid evils and damages and – in short – will make it possible to achieve fair gains. Others will discipline warriors and seamen in the manner I intend to and is convenient. Others will teach everybody and reconcile them and others can later be sent to the hinterland and to understand how to communicate wisely, piously and bravely with the natives. Others will be able to make discoveries observing the sun and the stars, to mark the land, to search the seas, to chase the news, to write, to describe and even to paint what happens and is contained in whatever they see, so that once and for all what was not done in other discoveries is done well. Others will be asked to set up the second and third populations and to bring in others with great awareness and knowledge,so that they can add their bit. Other intelligent and diligent persons will be sent to this Court to keep Y.M. informed on what has happened and what has been agreed on the present and hoped‐for conditions so that they can faithfully record what is owed to those territories, to their natives, to God and to Y.M.’s service for the good of vassals and the universe. This matters as a whole under penalty of the opposite, on whom it is possible to trust the novelties of profit that will be sent to Y.M. with good will, making sure they are in good quantity.
Some captains that can make themselves understood and who have other necessary resources will travel to México and Lima to take the forced aid people so that they can continue their work learning how to come and go and how to manage themselves on firm ground and at sea for the common good. Besides, we do not know whether the Indians will greet us without weapons, welcome us in a friendly manner, trust us, understand whatever is said to them about the heavens in Romance language and in Latin, or whether they will believe and learn it quickly, or whether we will learn their language or they ours, least of all whether the soldiers will live as it is owed to God, Y.M. and the natives. In short, Sir, I say that all this and whatever else is done in that part of the world – both in the present and future – will demand money, well‐intentioned persons and a man with enough strength of spirit and skill to repair, compose and content himself with everything that is offered to him both here and there, and everything can be done with God’s help and the minimum outlay I mention. According to what is said, Ostend cost several million in gold and 100,000 men on both sides which purchased each one of the plazas at this price in the rebel states.
There are not enough people in Europe or gold and silver in both Indies, not even after those securely earned and costed that will be worth to Spain as much as the Southern territories will be worth in one year. I say this because I can see it becomes expensive to populate with only a thousand men, considering that there is a population surplus in Madrid of 150,000, and 500,000 ducats for a very rich Perú, where all the great Kingdoms will be discovered from, thus doing a great service to God and to Y.M., enjoying all the wealth all over the world with all its comforts and conveniences, losing 2,000 each, and 10,000 if there is a delay, and even more if there are further delays, in which case everything will be lost and everything must be paid to God, to those souls, to Y.M. and to the thousands who are the cause of such perditions. I must point out that when I was sent on my discovery trip, I could not make the riches from different areas underground and underwater manifest themselves somehow and come to Madrid all together in one month (even more so since I was sick and alone and with certain evil correspondences in the service of Y.M., as well as other opponents to defeat and appease), for two would be too late as I understood it here, and its delay took years and years.
10.‐ I have represented this mainly to show the importance of such an undertaking, how much must be prepared, sailed and laboured for its benefit, together with the need to keep a fast pace to achieve its completion. I remind you how short lives are, as well as how convenient it is to have a well agreed and preventive start, which all its greatest and longer lasting advantages consist of, while it would be just the opposite with a bad start. With all this, and refreshing one’s memory with the following reasons, I deem it impossible that Y.M. would delay my dispatch, not even for a single day.
11.‐ When it comes to greatness, nothing is greater than populating so many good discovered territories with Christians, and to remember that the area is full of promise. What is it that God created in all of them?
12.‐ If [the territories] are abandoned because it is said that Y.M. would not be able to support them, I say that they will be self‐supporting and they will in turn support all of those where Y.M. is master in those areas as well as in these. To preserve some of them, it is convenient to acquire others – exactly as I have shown – and such deeds should be based upon God’s power and wisdom rather than human judgement and strength.
13.‐ When it comes to riches, which ones are greater than those that bear some promise whether they are discovered on the ground or at sea? Whatever there may be in those territories, parallel to Monomotapa and Potosí, which are the two richest sites in gold and silver known in the world, could be enough to redeem and to relieve Spain, who has the need of newer Kingdoms and greater revenue, for it is true that the current ones will not provide or secure it as well as it is necessary.
14.‐ When it comes to public benefit, there is nothing more universal or with more commodities.
15.‐ When it comes to fame and glory, there is no better or more everlasting cause.
16.‐ When it comes to enjoyment, there is nothing like it. I went there and saw the place with my own eyes. I know where the lands I discovered are, and I ask Y.M. to keep them out of harm’s way. Y.M. is a King and powerful lord and has the obligation of doing so.
17.‐ When it comes to cheap labour, I will sign that I do not want anything from what has been done and what will be done, so that the mission is less costly and my share becomes one of its biggest assets, as well as of those who are going to work on it.
18.‐ When it comes to zeal, I can truthfully assure you that I wish to God that His Holy will may be fulfilled there for whatever Y.M. commands me and for the natives, so that not even one of them will be offended in the least and of them will be rightly indoctrinated, taught and assured about your justice for our people, that both they and I will adjust ourselves to reason, making use of the means that time shows, or better say God will provide.
19.‐ When it comes to keeping the worthy surplus population in Perú, what better preparation or part in which there is more to gain, or greater and necessary relief for those Kingdoms, for two different causes? One of them concerns the Indians and the other concerns Y.M.
20.‐ When it comes to a [historical] time, there is no better one than the current one, with all its similarity to Octavianus’ peace for Y.M.
21.‐ When it comes to God’s honour and glory – which is everything – and for whose love riches, honour and lives should be spent and risked, there is no greater or splendid service than to rid those peoples of their devil worship and to attract them to their Creator and Redeemer in infinite numbers. If all of them, Sir, were kneeling in Y.M.’s presence, representing their perdition, alleging their rights, tearfully begging the remedy that Y.M. gives to others, remembering that what will be mentioned in the present and future is where their their souls’ salvation or damnation lie. I believe that the greatness of Y.M.’s Royal spirits and Christian piousness would be greatly damaged, therefore it becomes convenient to give me a good, clear and firm dispatch as I asked, to attend to those living needs and just relief.
22.‐ When it comes to the security of all the spiritual and temporal goods involved in such a great cause, what is firmer than populating? If it came to happen that the enemies of our Holy Mother Church have populated those nearby territories(considering that the further away from Spain they are, the more they should be taken into account, as I have shown) and (God forbid!) have sown the seeds of Martin Luther and Calvin and have reaped large numbers of souls for hell, under Y.M.’s protection they can resurge in heaven. How many millions in gold would Y.M. have paid without delay so that it will not be said in the present and future that the Holy Gospels heresy was preached in the first place? I am certain that since Y.M. is the Catholic King, Defender of the Faith, who supports the Church in many different places, and under whose responsibilities are those that I referred to, he would feel for them in the extreme.
23.‐ All the causes I have given and the reasons I give for Y.M. to sow (for whoever does not sow will not reap) are so fixed that the smallest of them would involve a much higher expense. I have noticed that what I am owed is nobody’s concern; I do not ask either what I am worth or not, and I do not want either the complete mission’s price, which is infinite, or what I offer to gain and to preserve Y.M.’s wealth given my services’ value is worth millions in gold, the only means is my request for Y.M. to spend once, for God and the Kingdoms, and to secure his possessions.
24.‐ I would wish to know what would be the least I would receive for my services if I were to ask today, and the least that should be given to me for the service I offer myself for, if I were to ask tomorrow, being able to make use of many examples from the past and present, and to rightfully say that if those rewards were justly given, my justice is worth more than twenty‐four carats.
25.‐ If I have mentioned such expense several times, it is because a certain minister told me that in order to dispatch the fully equipped 1,000 men that I have requested with all they need, it would cost a million and a half, even more so in Perú because of the substantial salaries and the lack of preparation, and how right he was if such an expense were made the ordinary way and if I were not the distributor, purchaser and overseer who does not receive a single maravedí, but because such an undertaking does not require a higher amount. Again I say, Sir, that only with those 500,000 ducats I will make it happen as well as it has been represented,so help me God.
26.‐ If such sum of money seems excessive, Y.M. can give instructions to spend much less, for in any case I will obey as I must and I will continue to serve as always.
27.‐ If there is a shortage of funds, it is possible to borrow some for a short time from what the Indians in Perú have in their coffers, which they call community coffers and they do not make use of them. Otherwise, they can be borrowed or exchanged from other Kingdoms or from private individuals living in them, or mint copper maravedís in Segovia. These will suffice to redeem those infinite innocent people and their territories and without question they will pay 1,100 for 1 in gold, silver, pearls and other riches that were spotted and that we are aware of. It may be that diamonds, rubies and other precious stones can be found as well, for God gives to those who endeavour to pledge themselves in works that honour Him. One such example is that of the Catholic Monarchs. When they were determined to discover the Indies, they were so engaged in warfare and were so poor that it was necessary for them to borrow the funds to dispatch Christopher Columbus the stubborn, and not to populate 3,500 leagues of land – those I am talking about – without taking into account what that quarter of the planet promises, but in full doubt whether any of those that he supposed would be there actually existed. It was the great Lady Queen Isabel who helped him and she sold her dresses just for that purpose. A noteworthy resolution based on love! And was it not a noteworthy new world that Our Lord gave them, and to redeem so many fleets laden with gold, silver, pearls, emeralds and all the very many other riches, and everything that was done with them until the present day and what will continue to be done – God willing – for He can also take away! It is true that the love Y.M. will show will not be less noteworthy, nor will the favours that He will promise and that we expect if we work quickly, for charity does not suffer space, even less so those who need it.
28.‐ Or, would Y.M. be so kind as to send twenty‐four Franciscan monks and twelve Capuchins (whom I have received 250 letters from and I have never met any of them – I only know that they are driven by God) to beg in Spain and in the Indies, in the same way as the Trinitarians and the Mercenaries do to rescue captives from the Moors, and there are innumerable Southern peoples whose rescue I seek who are held captive by the demons. For this reason, once the gold and silver mines in Perú have dried out and if there were no ships or such a large surplus population, it would be fair to the same extent as it would be pious and great to let the rest go from Spain, for it is known that for the same that seven leagues in the Isle of Terrenate have cost in money and men in the past six years, I would have populated those Kingdoms seven times as much and made them prosper and rich – the same Kingdoms that Y.M. sent me to discover – in the same way he commanded Terrenate, and it has not given any results nor will it give any in a thousand years, not in the same way as the Southern territories can in just one spending two on its garrison – and that would have been enough to populate that quarter of the world over thirty times with what was spent on trifles since I have been in this Court, where I have seen how much attention was paid to California and its counter‐coast, as well as the esteem given to the person that went there, with the goodness and brevity of his dispatch and the little that was felt for all the monies spent, considering that it promises very little, which is not much and cannot become much. However, I would like to say, but I will not, since there were reports that cannot be denied on what I have been accused of and it pains me to say so, and what I have done with love and what I persuade with fear, not of men, and wish to perform with courage, was not plain and straight in the service of God and Y.M., inestimable and without comparison, without intending any honours, profit or rest for myself, but immense travails apart from what I have been through, as well as the constant risks, distresses and dangers that I can see from here and that I request as a favour. Text in italics on the margin: There is a monk in the Monastery of St Antonio de la Cabrera who offers his help when needed, plus other fifty monks who want to preach those peoples and to sacrifice themselves for God. There are also three clerics that have been here for four years awaiting execution.
29.‐ The same charity can be exercised by city and town governments, by Cathedrals, Archbishops, Bishops, Abbeys, rich convents and people of high standing, and even lesser and poorer ones would give their share gladly for such a praiseworthy deed. I give my industry, my life and 3,000 ducats from the 6,000 that Y.M. granted me, for I need the remaining 3,000 to pay my debts. If all 6,000 were necessary, I would donate them gladly and would seek an agreement with my creditors to inform them how good this mission will be, in case there is no other solution but to rely on charity. I believe that only in Madrid it will be possible to raise a much higher amount than what is said. God’s purse is large, his Divine Majesty will provide, and there has been and will be nobody who does not trust his infinite kindness. I have experienced this to such an extent that I have become a witness and chronicler of God’s power.
30.‐ If Your Majesty wishes, you could help with two or three ships, artillery, weapons, munition and other things that can be found in the port of El Callao, where the journey will start.
31.‐ If Y.M. will not dispatch me in any of the above mentioned ways, or in a fairer, less expensive and safer one – should there be one – would Y.M. be so kind as to give me the necessary papers so that I can search among Y.M.’s vassals both in Spain and in the Indies, in order to start the mission before it becomesthe end of me? With this I would do as much as I can, so that the mission is not lost in its entirety.
32.‐ The cuts and reductions I offer are to the best of my ability, but under‐expenditure in the service of God or of Y.M. is not the right thing to do, particularly for such a venture, because it will be said that due to the unavailability of such a small amount for such a venture, the greatest, most powerful and richest Monarch ever to have existed – as I have shown – purchased a new world of goods that are nothing but evils. For example, in the Indies it is not fair that there should be those who only want a universal reparation which is so profitable for Y.M., so necessary to infinite numbers of people and an obligation in God’s honour, there are neither monies nor valid means, and I could say much more. To ease my conscience, nothing would be firmer or longer‐lasting, or more honourable and lucid, or worthy of laurels, or of certain reward in both lives than for Y.M. to spend his funds from the City of Kings’ coffers, from what is available to eat here and there, for the reasons I have already outlined and for others that I can give, all of them very powerful indeed; considering that the best service I can render Y.M. is to deal with the present and to secure the future – both of which are not to be confused.
33.‐ In short, Y.M., together with your vassals, shut those open doors to the enemies of the Catholic truth. Acquire more honour and glory for God where repugnant demons who receive so much help are adored and take souls with them by the millions. If accounts are managed well, it will be discovered that rescuing one hundred of them does not cost two maravedís, nor does each island cost three, nor can each Kingdom be rescued for four, given on loan for one year to obtain millions in gold in return after a very short time and for ever. I fail to understand how that does not entail pain or how to express what I feel about this mission, which – all things considered – is the greatest of all missions after our redemption, but to shout “look, Y.M., it will be snatched from your hands, with the eternal fame that venture and quills offer you”. Y.M., enjoy your happiness and look at the many men and financial gains that will come in handy, either to recover what is lost or to defend the Kingdoms that enemies will attack, as well as plunder land and sea and disturb trade on both, and to become their sole rulers – at least in part. If such massive losses were to follow, together with damages, evils and scandals, how many will time show, and it is time itself that will disillusion you regarding all I have said, warned you, demonstrated and reminded you several times with healthy zeal. It is true that I have made God my witness, together with Mr. Luis Belasco, President of the Indies, former Viceroy of Perú and first minister of Y.M. whom I suggested this venture to, and he will say whether I entertain myself in Lima as soon as he learns what Y.M.’s will is, I said he did not want to trust my absence for such an important venture; he held my determination in high esteem, which speaks volumes about his and my good will.
34.‐ I beseech Y.M. to give me permission to ask those who contradict, deviate or slow down the dispatch that Y.M. instructed to be given to me, the second time to my entire satisfaction or better say to Y.M.’s, who does not want errors to be made, what they think about this mission and this man. It appears that, without question, they judge both the mission and the man. I want them to say whether this mission should be given up because it is either too big or too small, considering that in big missions they must show great spirits and the fineness of zeal. Or is it because I am small and skinny, and God chose to entrust it to my shoulders for two months? What do they feel about my request and my aspirations? Or is it that it is too expensive for them to afford the bargain that I have made of my industriousness and my life, with all the rest on my part? What will they say about my finely proven loyalty? Or if I have what it takes to satisfy them? Speak clearly to me, for I cannot guess, or bear a torch that I can use to search in a manner which they can regard this cause piously. I believe, if I am not mistaken, that they must do what I do, what I did and what I aspire to for this cause. Otherwise, they must let me do it, for all your [future] gains involve so many precious things that it is unfair for Your Majesty to lose having such good vassals, or for God to lose those souls that He created and loves, even though there are those who say that their time has not arrived yet and 1612 very good years have gone by. I would like to be a Saint Paul to have full knowledge of what I am saying.
35.‐ There is no shortage of voices that say that since God does not influence the will of those whose turn it would be to dispatch me, except Y.M. and the State Council, that maybe Your Divine Majesty does not want me to do such a great service to you. To this I reply that it is not only I who deservesto finish such a mission in which not only the whole of Chirst’s College will be fully busy, but also that I should not have started it and that I am fully unworthy of it, not only to put both my hands on it but also my eyes and tongue. I also say that I deserve now a big punishment because I am still alive and the mission dies, for if God entrusted it to me up to now, judging his divine will from the start did not trust others but me, and it maybe that God will not move his not because others do not deserve what they indeed do deserve, if only they were destined to continue such a mission. Sir, I cannot accept the fact that it is probably that God does not want me because I can see that it is them who do not want me, and if not, they should change their mind and they will see whether God wants me or not. That is the way I did it, without waiting for Him to send an Angel to reveal or to send me thousands, but to spend the maravedí that I had. In short, I gave what I had and handed over profits, assuaged doubts, dealt with harshness, and it was God who triumphed, not me.
36.‐ To those who say that if this is God’s work, it will be done, I say that I have followed it from God and that is the way I consider it, in the same way as the rest of the world, and will continue to do so until I die for it. Also, the worst sign I can see is that it does not hurt, and for this reason they do not complain the way I complain to God and I complain to Y.M., to whom I humbly beg not to allow or consent or suffer such innumerable heaven and earth losses, nor should I lose my fair share for all the souls that can be saved from the present to the Day of Atonement, nor should I become the most unfortunate son of Spain considering that I am not the one who has lesser thoughts and wishes, nor am I the one who has suffered and struggled the least to free the mission that I was entrusted to start from oblivion and danger.
37.‐ With this last memorial, it seems I have fulfilled my duty, having God entrusted me with this cause, His cause, to show those peoples their remedy, my solicitousness and truth, which I deal with now. What I ask for is the justice of a good dispatch or plain disappointment. Y.M. should give me either one thing or the other in good conscience, for I have been at this court for seventeen years and a half, and it will soon be five that I have been at this Court, waiting and wishing that God in his kindness will win those souls and that Y.M. does not lose all the precious things that I have represented and remembered so many times. If I am not granted any of the favours mentioned, or if my demand is not taken for what it is and for the greatness that it will bring, even though it may be reduced, or if my person, whose loyalty cannot be questioned, whose actions cannot be taken away, or whose rights and desires cannot be destroyed, or the thoughts that God gave me cannot be taken away from me or where to show them, it is not for its purpose or for anything else, for delivering my speeches.
I have not found anything (such as this paper shows) that can persuade me that for want of such a small sum of money such an important and necessary mission for Christianity will be discontinued. In short, if both the mission and myself are worth very little or nothing, I beg Y.M. – as painful as it is for me – to allow me to leave this Purgatory, where I am suffering in vain, with no certainty to retire to a cave as Saint Peter, not because I denied Y.M. what I served with love and no interest in more important things, and what I offered and begged, and the means I used for Y.M. to double and secure the Holy Church and his own Monarchy, and in order not to lose all his other infinite blessings from heaven and earth that God sent his way through me, the price of which, as well as that of thousand costly and painful things, has tormented me here and for which I have been mistreated and I have been sailing against the wind and wasting my time in suspense and delay, and have suffered (if it had happened in Sierra Morena, I would at least be able to defend my cloak and the honour I earned the way I should), that I should be dispossessed before Y.M.’s eyes as well as of all the great favours that Our Lord has granted me, thus offering them for nothing, and that God’s enemies will enjoy them and that Y.M.’s will be avenged and that those I have will triumph, because I defended and still defend a just universal cause, and for a thousand other reasons that nobody wanted to know, even though I have mentioned them and even though I clearly requested to be brought face‐to‐face with those who felt or said the opposite of what I said, felt or feel.
I do not know, Sir, what the mystery of not granting me this favour and to estimate minimal things is, and to despise such a great one that has been so costly to me. I return to the cave and will spend my life crying for those infinite souls that have been condemned to eternal death for not spending 500,000 ducats when it costs more to build a house. If I had millions in gold, Sir, I would give them all just to save only one, with the same love which I have offered my life with for all of them, having met continuous formalities without being able to do anything for them. I do hope God will take care of them and of me because there is nobody who can shout from the rooftops what I have given up for my love of them. Behold, Y.M., what is lost and what you stand to lose. It is not fair for me to lose what I have said in this and other writings. Behold, Y.M., how much I can be satisfied for what I did and for what I was prevented from doing, and the least I can do for God in what I have suggested is of greater value for me than all earthly riches. Behold, Y.M., you are my King to defend me, my lord whom I served, my judge to give me justice and who can and must give a remedy to everything. With this I finish, neither deceitfully nor ungratefully, for it is well known how clear I have been, and it is not because of me that God’s new vineyard is lost. I leave it to His hands to plant, to benefit, to fence, to guard, to enjoy and to all the comings and goings and dangers it is in simply because that is the way some want it, and I kneel down at His holy feet feeling so small and lonely as I am regarded, as full of grievances of the worst sort as I am, because I did much more than I could for my King and country in the greatest mission ever attempted in this world.
38.‐ I justified this, God’s cause, as much as I could, on his Holy Church’s part, on behalf of those peoples’ souls, born and unborn, on behalf of Y.M.’s and my country’s soul, on behalf of every man’s soul who deservesto participate in such a cause, as well as on my own. There is some handwritten text: [illegible text] 100 ducats well paid here, and six‐thousand [illegible] of great understanding [illegible]